I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
