I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
