I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
