Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
