Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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