Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
