I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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