what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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