I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
