so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
A+ Viking dick
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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