Where is the hickey?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
