I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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