So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
