His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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