I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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