We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
