PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
