If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
