Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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