the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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