That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
