You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
