She just used a chaser for red wine.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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