I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
