these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
