I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
