Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
