I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
When did angry sex become our thing?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
