is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
