So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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