This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
