My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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