Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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