The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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