Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
