A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
