he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
