did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
