I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
