My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm like, not good at living.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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