Swine flu. Run for my life!
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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