I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize