Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Buhtt sex?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
