So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
