Please, let me fuck your mom
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
