I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
