Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
we're so committed to being not committed
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
