No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
