I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
