we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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