I'm really into asian looking animals
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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