do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
