you would pick up someone in the library
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
high people should be assigned attendants
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
