I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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