Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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