She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize