is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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