brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm both gender and math confused
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
