I want to have your abortion
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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