Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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