is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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