You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize