We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize